Love – The Urge to Merge

At the physical level, light;

At the mental level, consciousness

At the emotional level, love;

At the level of spirit, God;

 “Although ‘love’ is an excruciatingly overused and abused word, there is a common factor involved whenever it is used. In every case, the active principle has something to do with togetherness, attraction, unity and unification – a joining together in some way – be it physical, emotional, philosophical, esthetic or otherwise.[1]

This “urge to merge” is obvious in the example of sexual loving, or in the case of the love between a mother and an infant, or the love of a worshipper for a Higher Power. And in contests of skill, like sports (or war), we see the same phenomenon of unity exerting it’s power and enabling the group with the most “team spirit” win against all odds –athletes will often speak of the love they feel for their teammates. Whenever a certain quality of wholeness is attained and sustained – whether it’s of a person’s physical body, a relationship, or a racecar – it tends to give rise to enormous power, performance and survival potential.”

Love refers to the underlying quality in every attractive force in our universe. It is the inner power and knowing that guides the carbon atom to share electrons with its neighbors; it is the attractive energy that sustains the integrity of the membrane (and the life) of the one-celled paramecium.

Love binds together the cells and organs of our bodies and harmonizes their functioning to produce health of the whole. Love makes birds of a feather flock together, and it inspires wildebeests to travel hundreds of miles in the Spring. Love is the magic bond between lovers, between brothers and sisters, between dear friends – it is the key to empathy, compassion, and community.

To the degree that we see the world through eyes that look for wholes, harmony, balance, peace and connection, we are using the both-and paradigm/worldview. This paradigm seeks to find the “we” in every situation as well as to be aware of the differences (diversity).

And it finds the we (the oneness) in myriad ways, ranging from the passion of a young man for the girl of his dreams to the profound oneness of the mother and infant, from the deep bond between team members to that experienced among members of a spiritual community – many forms of the same fundamental force – Love. To be loving is to always seek to experience the reality of this source in every situation.

And it is Love that heals. Healing is, after all, the movement towards greater wholeness, the creation of harmony in the functioning of that complex system of body, mind, emotions, and spirit.

Love is the dance of the white cranes, and the music of the nightingale. And Love is the feeling of empathy, compassion, unconditional positive regard – the knowing we are One.

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About the Author:  Emmett Miller MD is a Nevada City psychotherapist and mind-body physician who has guided thousands to manifest healthy relationships. Go to his useful website, for free self-help tools and free gifts for those who subscribe to his free Healing Times eNewsletter.


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[1] Miller, Emmett, Our Culture on the Couch – 7 Steps to Global Healing




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